My List

To add too my mood I thought I would write up a list of things I don't like.

Mike's List of Things he doesn't like today.

1. Kids who are jerks on trains.

2. Old people who stare at me... And then go inside to get their old people spouses to help stare at the white kid.

3. People who for no reason use an escalator when their is a stair case consisting of fifteen steps right next to it. It's damn lazy.

4. People who use a stair case when they should be using the escalator. Old people just stop trying!

5. Grapes and anything grape related. Squishy, cold, and for some stupid reason they always get thrown into swimming pools or spas when I'm in them. Yuck.

6. Spiders. I'm not scared of them, but if all the spiders in my apartment learn to work as a team and mass against me I'm royally boned.

7. Not been able to leave my apartment doors open at night in this humidity because I'm scared Ninjas will get in.

8. Velociraptors - Big sharp toes and they are smart. Dinosaurs are extinct? It's what they want you to think. Watch out for them when you're walking in tall grass.

9. The fact that the Japanese can create a toilet that sends moderately temperatured water up my clacker but don't sell burrito tortillas at the supermarket.

10. That guy who plays Robin Hood in BBC's Robin Hood. The stories good, the episodes are entertaining. Why is the main character played by a dick who can't act?!

11. The way my left foot is like an entire centimeter bigger then my right. I know its all about biological symmetry but it just looks stupid.

12. The creepy old lady who stands at the end of the street every garbage day, watching for people who don't put their bags under the net correctly, or might have the wrong things in burnables. I swear she checks when I go away.

13. Children whose heads are just too damn big for their bodies. How do they walk with out being bent over, heads dragging along the ground and sparks flying up as they move? I'll never bloody know.

14. Myspace, facebook, Hi5, Friendster. Any site that promotes community. People who I don't even know add me! At least say 'hello' or something! It's just not right!

15. Jokes about Penguins. One was funny, but I just don't think its fair to keep insulting the things. Their doing their best with out the ability to fly, they chose the wrong evolutionary path, so just back off! Pick on another animal...

16. The ending to the show Quantum Leap. For a show dedicated to following a guy who leaps into other peoples bodies, trying his hardest to get home I thought to have an ending where he never got home was just harsh. Hell, how do I even remember that shit? I was like five years old!!

17. Speaking of time traveling, what was up with Mr. Peabody. Did he actually like Sherman or did he just need some one to pick on? Seriously, Sherman should have grown some man parts and had that dog put down when he could after all the stupid puns he made... Or at least broken his glasses.

18. Earthquakes. They happen all the time here, but never when I'm bloody awake! Oh no. When I lie down to sleep at night, and I'm just at the edge. Then I feel it and my pots start to rattle. Random my arse.

19. The way that bugs insist on coming to my apartment to just die. They land on my walls and if I don't get to them first, by morning they are dead and still attached to my wall. These things have got like 24 hours to live, go and do something with you lives instead of annoying me!

20. People who wear those blue tooth head sets for no reason. Fair enough if your on a call, but take them off when your finished. You just look like a dick head any way.

21. People who use literally all the time when they speak. For example "...I literally dropped dead when I heard the news." No you didn't you moron! Learn to speak English!

22. When I pass another foreigner and say "Heya" and they just look at me like I'm idiot. I was just been polite jack ass! I should cut his pony tail... Damn Hippy.

23. Creative children's names. Like Apple, or Seven.

24. Ponchos. If I wanted to wear a big bit of plastic I would have cut a head and arm holes in a garbage bag. $5!? No way!

25. That the girl in the movie Water World grew up to be so ugly. I know I share disappointment's with many children of the 90's when I say that. Such a shame. Such a waste.


I know it sounds like I'm complaining a lot... That's mostly because I am.